Relationship&&Love

I’ve been finding myself giving a lot of advice when in reality I can’t even follow my own. This time in life I’ve been just trying to figure out my next step. Not career wise but freedom wise. Since I’ve been letting go (well trying to anyways) and moving on like a normal person. Helping others with their relationship does help me get over mine and what I had. Our generation now a days don’t understand love or loyalty. I see a lot of people breaking up, cheating, or just plain giving up. Someone came to me for advice and told me that she has a 12 year relationship with someone and she’s not happy. She told me he mistreats her and verbally abuses her and it hurts her feelings. She told me in the years it was a lot of infidelity on both ends. Either he wasn’t doing right or she wasn’t doing right. She doesn’t really wanna be with him and she’s emotionally drained. They argue nonstop about any and everything and he’s really possessive and doesn’t allow her to ever enjoy herself or family the way she wants to. They have no kids together but the love they have for each other made 12 years of a bond she’s not sure on how to escape. I told the young woman if she’s unhappy she needs to leave. You can’t be with someone if you can’t be happy, let alone commit or marry. 12 years is a long time to waste when you really don’t have time to waste. Some women don’t understand by being with a person who mistreats you sometimes cause self esteem issues and self doubt. Just because there were years doesn’t mean it was meant to be. Sometimes people are just lessons you learn from and move forward. I asked if she felt good about herself and who she has become, she replied with a “no I’m not.” Giving yourself so much can drain so much of you and your energy. A lot of the time it’s our fault because we allow people to take our energy when they never deserved it. It hurts to be alone but sometimes being alone can be the best decision for you. God has a direct plan for all of his children and he knows whats best. You can’t tell God what you need because he already knows. There were a lot of signs showing her it’s time to let go and be free from all the sadness that he’s caused her and caused each other. You can’t hold on to what God is trying to show you don’t need. Either he’s not for you or it’s just not the time to date each other. I learned that the hard way. I also asked her if she leaves, does she feel she can’t have anyone else? She said sometimes. That’s when I knew it was self esteem was one thing that’s keeping her there and the lack of. It’s ok to feel like this but its better to know you’re beautiful and you’re capable of anything you want and put your mind to. Never let anyone steal your joy or make you forget who you are. You keep your confidence and never let anyone make you feel less than. She also told me his possessiveness keeps her there because sometimes she don’t know what will happen if she leaves. No one can ever hold you against your will or make you stay with them no matter what types of tricks they have. It’s not easy to get out of a relationship but if it’s not good for you, you need to do what’s best for you and stop destroying yourself. The decision is hers, I explained my feelings don’t matter but for once she should really consider what she wants and her happiness. Your happiness is your only peace on this earth. Happiness is what keeps the love flowing through your heart. Without it we literally have nothing but sadness, who wants to be sad all the time? I want you to always remember, just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean your life ended. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean you won’t have the right one. Maybe it wasn’t meant or maybe timing is wrong. It’s time to take control of you and your life and have your own peace and no one to threaten that peace. You have to want the best in life, to have the best in life, and be the best at everything you do. I’ve been teaching myself to remember who I am and stop letting people define me when I already know who I am. I have to get me together and become a better person and get closer to God and stop being afraid to be alone. I need to be alone to have my mind back and learn to enjoy myself and learn more things about myself. I give people advice because I go through things, and as young as I am, I’m a very wise girl and carry a lot of knowledge people seek. So I give, and encourage, and push. I don’t want anyone to ever reach a low point because something they wanted so bad never worked out. Life is too amazing to be stuck in pity. Move forward because life does.  Love hard and love yourself 

Unfolds 💜🤞🏽