Get ya shit together!!!

I want to do something new, something adventurous and outrageous for once in my life. I want to dangerously fall in love with myself for once. Listen to my own heart and follow my own intuition. I have a hard time with ignoring the voices in my head and the surroundings around me. I miss me, I say that often though. I miss laughing uncontrollably at myself when I make simple mistakes. Feeling genuinely happy, just happy in general. In life we have a tendency to lose ourselves and it may happen a few times until you completely know who you are. My mind sometimes is all over the place and so are my emotions. I have A LOT going on. I haven’t been writing as much as I want because I need to get my shit together. Excuse the language; I really have to get things together all the way. I know many people are on the same boat as me, but I'm not afraid to admit it. Not trying to make all blogs about myself, never do I want to seem self-centered or self-absorbed. It is MY blog but I'm just more than SELF. I care more for others than I do myself at times. That’s why I constantly find myself in positions where I have to fix myself. I know one things for certain I did learn one thing. You CAN NOT help someone in the mist of helping myself. It's like the blind leading the blind. We can help each other but me just giving unconditional love isn’t working for me. I just refuse to deal with a lot of bull crap any more. That sweet girl everyone is expecting is now a grown ass woman. I can't just put my life on hold for other people's bullshit anymore. We are all entitled to the same opportunities, what you do with your life has nothing to do with me. Everything I have is because I worked, and may have cried at times but I did it on my own and based off every decision I decided to make. I always saw and wanted better for myself, my children, my future husband, just my life period. I just feel I have people around me that look down on me because I want better and always have. Jealousy sinks in when they realize I could have, I should have, and I would have. It just bugs me how people can make their problems your problems and get upset because you don’t want to deal with their problems. I have issues of my own personal demons I'm battling and generational curses I constantly keep breaking. I GOT SHIT TA DO! I mean damn I'm only 25 and I have no children no husband man or boyfriend. This is the time God is allowing me to get me together. The old me would put me to the side to help but I can't keep doing that especially when people take advantage or better yet take you for granted and give you their ass to kiss. Don’t get me wrong I want a husband children the whole nine yards but it a reason God pushing those things back right now and placing my career and opportunity in my face. It's not that it won't happen for me, just not at this moment. Like I said I have to get my shit together, push a little harder and don’t fold. My adventure just started even when I feel my life is over.